Let's be frank...

First, let's get something out of the way: It wasn't forced, it was consensual. I mean, it had been five years without it, and, well, I guess I just broke down and needed it. Everywhere I went it seemed like other people were doing it; my friends, co-workers, family, big-name celebrities. It's hard to maintain purity in the face of all that juicy, in-your-face endorsement.

I will also say this: It was the best hot dog I've ever eaten, an all-beef, no-frills organic kosher frank on a plain white bun, with ketchup. There's nothing like it.