Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Yes, but are you bodacious?



Anybody can be cool? I'm going to cry foul on that one, and ask Lorraine Peterson when the last time was she left her house?

I love the small print: If God loves me, why can't I get my locker open? Maybe because God didn't bestow upon your feeble brain the capacity to remember such uncomplicated things like locker combinations. The truth: God dislikes you.

How about:
If God loves me, why am I being held back a grade?
And...why do I have those feelings about Matt, my physics teacher?

You just know the blonde jock is amusing his sycophants with bitterly off-color jokes about that guy's Christmas sweater, in between readings from the book of Ephesians. Christmas sweater will later betray Blondie by defecating in his Bible.

No comments: