Anybody can be cool? I'm going to cry foul on that one, and ask Lorraine Peterson when the last time was she left her house?
I love the small print: If God loves me, why can't I get my locker open? Maybe because God didn't bestow upon your feeble brain the capacity to remember such uncomplicated things like locker combinations. The truth: God dislikes you.
How about:
If God loves me, why am I being held back a grade?
And...why do I have those feelings about Matt, my physics teacher?
You just know the blonde jock is amusing his sycophants with bitterly off-color jokes about that guy's Christmas sweater, in between readings from the book of Ephesians. Christmas sweater will later betray Blondie by defecating in his Bible.
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