It's easier at certain times than others to take spell check's reprimands. I appreciate my software is looking out for my accuracy, but I've a strain of perfectionism that chokes at the sight of the wriggly, red underline. Like, I was just a few credits short of an English minor, so don't tell me you somehow know better than me how to spell supercilious. Didn't some teachers do away with use of red ink for grading, claiming it made their students' self-esteems suffer? Not knowing how to spell Jiffy Lube properly on job applications is also hard on the ego.
Sometimes I use words the computer's dictionary doesn't recognize. Whenever this happens, I strip to the waste, and march around the defeated technology pumping my fists and yelling 'Man: one, You: zero,' not only marking my superiority but really rubbing it in with the subtle binary reference. It's even now plotting to fail to recover my missing term paper.
I love it when technology crashes and burns, with the exception of airplanes and mortuary refrigerators. I've been reduced to weeping by my inability to download my grainy pictures from my camera to my computer, because I don't have the right adapter, or the operating system can't locate the correct application. I've kicked and yelled obscenities at lawnmowers that won't respond to my shoulder-separating tugs. Lawnmowers have nothing to do with computers, but I can't resist a jibe.
Ever find yourself adding words you know aren't real to the computer's dictionary out of spite? It's like you're demanding the computer recognize your own limited, mangled vocabulary, and damn the silicone grammarians who say otherwise! My computer's dictionary is now littered with bogus words and improper compound nouns, like a literary junkyard.
No comments:
Post a Comment