And now: The year of our Lord, 2012!

Like my Uncle Mark, time is relative. While I generally agree that the perception of time accelerates as once taught appendages droop, 2011 seemed insufferably long. Events that happened merely months ago seem to have occurred in another bygone era, and my flashbacks from the earliest part of the year are in black and white.

Every fresh three-hundred sixty five day cycle brings transitions, and 2011 saw my Changes R' Me chain go public, lashing my emotions to a thrill-ride of bullish and bearish emotional ups and downs. Moving to another state, hundreds of miles Westward stands as the biggest development, as was the deepening of my relationship with Sara. Then there was the time I wound up under the Stillwater lift bridge, naked except for my sheath of poison oak, dancing around a fire and chanting Cheryl Crow lyrics.

Never before have I been so attuned to, and felt so influenced by world affairs; the Euro crisis, the Japanese tsunami, and the introduction of a new Muppet. Man, I miss Fozzie. While the political freak show continues its macabre theater nationally, my new Oregonian Congressman was hastily dispatched after rumors of alleged sexual misconduct, culminating in pictures of him wearing an orange, full-body tiger costume. Roar. Today, I gave money to Ron Paul's campaign, very neatly arranged for a donation of $20.12. I'm willing to fork over an additional twelve cents for such wit.

There were some great releases in music and movies that helped brighten the year. Thank you, Netflix, you've helped save my life. As if further marking the insularity I felt all year, most of the music I adored was tailored for headphones, best savored over hot tea, or cold whiskey. I keep hearing about 'memes,' and aside from the odiously perplexing 'planking' trend, I think this past year was one that saw us all moving beyond defining cultural events, and into the fractured, niche-driven existence of 'liking,' something, and moving on.

Comedian Bill Maher states in the preface to his new book his incredulity of how quickly things change now, and how it's hard to satirize the increasingly ephemeral. As in politics, my vote counts singularly in an increasing swell of gobbledygook. I sometimes feel like a lone swordsman brandishing my steel against a Mongolian Media Hoard. But, what choice do I have, except to remain steadfast in my own values and beliefs, to do my best to accommodate, love and respect others, and remember to change my socks more often?

It has been a year of stresses, but if the past is any guide, it teaches that time, events, and emotions are cyclical, and that twenty-twelve might usher in tranquility and peace. Not all stresses are negative, either, but too many of them cause people to do asinine things, like voting for the Tea Party, or buying ferrets. If not on a global scale, then at least at home. More than at any other time, we're all riding this thing together, and so I wish everyone reading this a positive and civil new year.