Flattery will not waive enrollment fees.

Recently my manly prowess was acknowledged by one of my students, who asked me out on a date. Now, it's ostensibly against policy to date students; something about possible conflict of interest, like when the sex-swing breaks and the evening ends terribly, and she suddenly doesn't return my calls, bails on financial aid and sends my bosses into despair. There's a first-time for everything.

Brown doesn't attract too many women. We're not exactly the U of MN, or the U of Anything for that matter. The few attractive women who enrolled tended towards interior design, a program we no longer offer. There are some guys who look like girls (goddamn emo riffraff), but on the whole, not much eye-candy. Whatever. It's not my place as a professional to judge such things. I enroll, I punch clock, I get paid, I watch summer disappear out window. Repeat.

Usually in springtime, my libido buds with the dandilions, but lately I've not been feeling inspired. Maybe I'm still shaking off the doldrums, maybe it's dietary, maybe workplace stress is sapping my energy and lowering my sperm-count. They've got a lawsuit on their hands!

Still, it's flattering to get asked out, kind of floats the ego. Did I go out with her? I'll leave it up to the imagination, and will only say that, yes, she's still working with financial aid.