I think I'll whet my whistle!

Shamrock's: Oddly generic-feeling, and not enduring enough to lure me back through the door. The last time I was there, the house-band took the stage and proceeded to warm-up for an hour. We left without hearing a note. Apparently a subsidiary of the infamous Nook, the burgers are very suitable, the beer prices are fair, and the tap list is typical, with unimaginative Irish stock. C-

Skinner's: Also on West Seventh, and like the street itself, an utterly unpretentious dump. All the booths and chairs are slashed, and the main bar area, which leads into a slightly larger eatery, is far too cramped. The lighting is abysmal, and the bathroom's metal trough is grubby. Interested? Truthfully, it's a splendid shit-hole, and the jukebox is well-stocked and louder than bombs. The music selection ups the letter grade. B+

Sweeny's: Ben and I have discussed a worrying trend happening to our beloved bar; it's getting cleaner and more trite. Okay, the bathroom was a nightmare, and needed better, well, everything. I think things started to change when they added the wine-bar, as though trying to cater to a trendier, wealthier crowd. Nevertheless, the prices are almost laughably cheap, and the fries? Good God. I know it's just mustard mixed with a bit of mayonaisse, but I'm convinced there are gushers of that combination in the afterlife. Mostly for memories: A

The Happy Gnome: Pricey, but for the beer snob, outstanding. For those who like Peruvian cask-fermented extra pale bitter carmel ales, it's a winner. I don't. The place has great ambiance, though, and their fries, while not as good as Sweeny's, still slide down the gullet satisfactorily. Props for the Scotch whiskey list. B

The Liffey: Attached to the hotel downtown by the Xcel Center, it purports to Irish authenticity, and the dark wood and good music, live or otherwise, make for a quality setting. It's always crowded, and always loud, and always expensive (six bucks for a pint of Miller Lite?) It'll be brimming tonight, and out on the sidewalk, more than a few pipers will be down. B