Disoriented

Every one of us in admissions takes student losses so personally, but in reality, nearly all of them drift because of two reasons. The economy still, well, sucks. Secondly, they'd have better luck wiping their asses with hatchets than getting financial aid. Admissions takes too much undeserved blame for these losses, like we're deliberately trying to get students to fail.

Most, not all of my students have really endeavored to make their collegiate experience successful. Today's round of Orientation Theatre brought such poopy-pants players as Derek, who after multiple phone calls, told me that he's 'Up North.' That's nice, Derek, but might you have called me in advance? Carmen, whose claim to fame is that she can blink her eyes with enough rapidity to keep them moist, didn't show either, because she forgot. I'm always a little befuddled at these adults, who need so much hand-holding. Maybe I'll get a merit badge.

The other ten students showed up on time, filed their papers, had questions about their schedules, and toddled on their way. No, I'm proud of them all, really. Applying, and starting school is a long, hard slog, and they're all deserving of the best education Brown can offer. Of course, they still have to walk through the door on Monday morning, sit in class, and get the grades. Beyond that, I have little control.

I think that, finally, that's the most frustrating part, knowing that short of going to their homes and chaining them to the hood of my car, the onus is on them to make it happen. Admissions gets attached to our students, after sometimes working with them for nearly a half-year. Fingers crossed.