The emperor wears stained clothes.

As it's Monday and not raining for the first day in weeks, my spirits this morning were bright. That is, until I sat down at my desk, and dumped an entire package of greasy lunch meat onto my favorite necktie. The Tide Detergent pen I keep in my desk drawer does an admirable job of smearing every stain, and leaves a whitish deposit that looks sickening when applied anywhere near my crotch.